Isn’t she gorgeous? None of our actually Bike Doctors look like this, I’m sorry to have to tell you, so this picture is just an opportunist stunt to stick in a girlie pic. Our Dr Bikes are all male (very male you may feel when you meet them), married (irrelevant) and fully clothed (be grateful).

They will be bike-doctoring on Quietway 1 on the third Thursday of every month starting today (April 19th). The unreliability of the number of Thursday in any particular month means that this arrangement will appear to jump about a bit but the general pattern will be one Thursday a month.

We will be on the Lynton Road/Dunton Road traffic lights — Crol coffee-shop might be a better signpost. It’s on the corner. We will be on a different corner where there are lights, space but no shelter from the rain. What we will do in the rain has not been decided yet. Maybe retire to Crol.

We bring one professional mechanic called Charlie and two amateurs called Bruno and Andy. All staff are chosen for top-notchness except the hangers-on who give out maps, wave their arms around and try to remember who is next in the queue.They are pretty second-rate.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you will have to pay. You don’t. Or that you have to belong to the London Cycling Campaign. You don’t. We sort out bikes’ niggles, brakes, gears and tyres. We give wise advice “clean that chain” ” pump up this tyre more often” but we don’t carry spare parts. If you want simple stuff fitted like brake pads, bring them with you.

Toodle-oo